Autistic Hero’s Journey
Introduction
If you’ve reached adulthood before you’ve begun considering whether or not you’re autistic sometimes it can feel like “what’s the point?” You’re already doing the stuff. Adulting. What’s a diagnosis going to get you?
If the answer isn’t some accommodations at work, or simply peace of mind, then it can feel like an adult autism diagnosis is pointless. Especially after the relief of the diagnosis wears off.
But the diagnosis itself is just a part of a bigger journey of self discovery and integrating an understanding of autism into your life. For those that are committed to the difficult path of discovery and self awareness, there are many rewards to be gained. A trained coach or mental health professional can help when you feel stuck or overwhelmed on the journey so that you can gain the rewards of self acceptance, understanding, and self advocacy.
I think the monomyth (hero’s journey) captures the epic nature of the self discovery challenges faced by autistic individuals. However, it is broken down into discrete steps that follow a linear path, which is not how the journey may realistically unfold for many people. You might experience some stages simultaneously, in a different sequence, or some not at all.
The Autistic Hero's Journey: A Path to Self-Discovery and Acceptance
The journey to understanding and accepting oneself as autistic can be a long and winding one, filled with challenges, triumphs, and profound transformations. It's a journey that mirrors the classic "hero's journey" archetype, a narrative pattern identified by mythologist Joseph Campbell that appears in stories and myths across cultures.
Just as the hero in a classic tale embarks on a quest, faces trials, and ultimately returns home transformed, so too does the autistic individual navigate a path of self-discovery, encountering obstacles and ultimately emerging with a deeper understanding of themselves and their place in the world.
Let's explore the stages of this autistic hero's journey:
The Allistic World: The Ordinary World
Existing in the Allistic World: The journey often begins in a world dominated by neurotypical norms and expectations. Autistic people, especially those who are high-masking, may spend years trying to fit in, feeling like they're broken or different. They may receive misdiagnoses or be told they're "just shy" or "too sensitive." This stage is marked by a sense of alienation and a constant struggle to conform.
The Call to Adventure: A spark ignites. Perhaps it's a chance encounter with an autistic community online, a conversation with a friend who has been diagnosed, or a growing awareness of one's own unique traits. The individual begins to suspect that they might be autistic.
Refusal of the Call: Doubt creeps in. "Am I really autistic? Maybe I'm just overthinking things." The individual may resist the idea, fearing the stigma or the implications of an autism diagnosis.
Supernatural Aid/Mentor: Support arrives in the form of online assessments, autistic voices sharing their experiences, or a consultation with a professional evaluator. A trusted friend or family member's diagnosis might also serve as a catalyst. These resources provide guidance and validation, helping the individual move forward.
The Autistic World: Entering the Unknown
Crossing the Threshold: The diagnosis arrives, or the individual embraces a self-diagnosis with confidence. This is a pivotal moment, a crossing into a new understanding of oneself. Relief washes over them as autism explains so much of their past struggles.
Tests, Allies, and Enemies: Sharing the diagnosis with others brings mixed reactions. Some relationships strengthen, while others falter. The individual may face disbelief, judgment, or even rejection. This stage is about navigating social dynamics and finding one's tribe.
Approach to the Inmost Cave: The individual begins to explore the autistic world, learning about sensory sensitivities, communication styles, and different ways of thinking. They may have early success with tools and strategies to accommodate their needs, such as fidget toys, noise-canceling headphones, or weighted blankets.
The Ordeal: This is a stage of deep introspection and facing inner challenges. The individual may confront deeply ingrained maladaptive patterns, such as people-pleasing, perfectionism, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. This is a crucial turning point where they can choose to embrace change and growth or fall back into old habits. This stage can also be characterized by skill regression, slow burnout recovery, and grief or frustration over the difficulty of being autistic. It may seem like a dark night of the soul.
Reward (Seizing the Sword): Through self-reflection, normalizing autistic traits, and perhaps therapy, or coaching, the individual develops a stronger sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance. They learn to listen to their body, understand their needs, and advocate for themselves. They realize that the problem isn't them; it's a society that often fails to accommodate neurodiversity.
Returning to the Ordinary World: Integration and Acceptance
The Road Back: The individual begins to bridge the gap between the autistic and allistic worlds. They may learn strategies for navigating social situations and communicating effectively with neurotypical people. They develop empathy and understanding for both neurotypes.
Resurrection: This stage is marked by a sense of peace and acceptance. The individual embraces their autistic identity and finds joy in their unique perspective. They may become active in the autistic community, advocating for acceptance and understanding. They may feel comfortable being openly autistic, and feel the need to mask less frequently.
Return with the Elixir: The individual returns to the allistic world with a newfound sense of self and a deeper understanding of the human experience. They are able to navigate both worlds, embracing their autistic identity while fostering connections with people of all neurotypes.
The autistic hero's journey is a testament to the resilience and strength of the human spirit. It's a journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and ultimately, finding and advocating for one's place in a world that is often too quick to judge those who are different.
Author’s notes
AI Use Statement: An aspect of my autistic brain is that I have a very vivid mind’s eye and I think mainly in images. That means that expressing myself in written words is quite challenging. Speaking is easy. Writing is hard. That being said, I want to be up front about my use of AI in generating some of the text for this article. I gave it an outline of my ideas in bullet point form, and it made sentences for me. I consider this an accommodation for my brain because without it, I wouldn’t be able to articulate my thoughts in an easy-to-understand fashion. I have modified and edited where necessary, so if you notice two distinct writing styles, that’s why.
A note about language: I use the word “diagnosis” to refer to any form of diagnosis such as personal realization AKA self diagnosis, or professional diagnosis.